If not now, when?

   I know what this is.  This is self-pity.  This is sadness.  This is me not knowing at all what to do with myself, because many of the things that help to make up my “selfness” have been taken away. 

   This is fear.

   This is me not knowing how to cope with it all, and so not coping with any of it.  This is me barely waking up enough to walk though one moment and into the next.  This is me asleep.  This is me dormant.  This is me with no flame, with barely a flickering of embers.

   This is NOT me.  More importantly, this is not my God.  My God upholds me.  My God surrounds me, and indwells me, and stirs my heart to fiery passion.  My God tells me to fear not.  My weakness is only another opportunity for Him to show His strength—to His glory, not mine.  My God takes hold of my right hand, and waits for me to step out in faith with Him.  I ask for Him to help me…but He’s already there.  He’s just waiting for me. 

   So what am I waiting for?  I do not lack any good thing.  Once again, I’m letting my own fear (of everything) get in my way.  I could be doing mighty things through Him, and instead I’m sitting here, doing nothing.

   It’s time to wake up.  It’s time to step out.  It’s time to grasp everything that has unsettled me and receive it as the blessing that it is.  I can’t do this alone.  I’m not meant to.  I don’t have to. 

   I’m ready, my Lord, my Love, my King…

   Let us dance.