I sit here in front of my computer tonight, reaching for words that dance just beyond my reach. I have played this game, danced this round, for a year now--feeling that I have something to write, and yet unable to get the words to form correctly. In fact, to get the words to form at all. I have great things to say within me, things that genuinely need to be said, and yet nothing comes.
It never used to be this way. In days past, I could sit with a blank "Word" page in front of me and have filled it to overflowing within half an hour. I could articulate something no matter what was going on in "real life" or how jumbled my thoughts were. I could sit, and pray, and listen to music, and my fingers would fly over the keyboard as if I weren't even controlling them as a story began to unfold and envelope me even as I typed. I used to call myself a writer, of sorts, and now I don't even know how longs it's going to be before I get back to "the way it was", if that ever happens.
Perhaps it's one of those things that God wants me to just let go of. Perhaps He's trying to get my attention on something else. Perhaps one day in the future I'll get my writing back. God alone knows. For now, I guess all that's left for me to do is put it into His hands and wait.
Such are the ramblings of one who is up too late with too much on her mind...
Thursday, January 12, 2006
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2 comments:
I don't think you'll ever lose the ability to articulate. This was a great post.
Aye, I agree with JC. You are more eloquent with written words than I can ever even hope to be.
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